His Heart Had Ceased to Beat

Kuja, my brother, was still alive.

I opened my eyes again and allowed them to focus to the new darkness that had enclosed me. The roots of the Iifa Tree had missed both of us, but just barely. The little rock we had been resting on had been bypassed. I exhaled a sigh of relief, but quickly realized that I shouldn’t be thanking the stars just yet. We were trapped inside of the massive Iifa Tree, and I highly doubted my synthesized daggers could cut our way out. I grunted and pushed myself up off of the top of my dieing brother’s body.

As I raised myself off of him and collapsed on the ground next to his body, he opened his eyes. I watched him as he slowly took in a few breaths and realized the situation. He turned to me with agony filled eyes.

"Zidane...." He managed to choke out of his dry throat.

"Yeah, Kuja. We’re still alive." I answered, my voice sounding slightly on the harsh side, and I didn’t know why.

He blinked his long lashes and licked his painted lips. "You shouldn’t have come back for me." He whispered. "Now, you’re trapped here with me..."

Yeah, so I was, I thought to myself, as I tried to suppress something bile that was rising inside of me. This feeling that was rapidly filling my bruised body did not feel like me... not at all. I wanted to hurt him. Yes, I had hated him, I had thought, and yes, I had fought him, but none of that was like what I was feeling now. I swallowed a lump in my throat. He was still gazing at me with those hypnotizing blue eyes. He was expecting an answer.

"Yeah, well, there is no use thinking about that now. It’s already been done." I heard myself say in an unusually hollow tone. Lord, the thoughts that were flying through my mind. I wish I could make them stop, make that damn feeling go away.

He wouldn’t be able to fight back....

I shook my head and silently told myself to shut up. I could feel the hot blood rising to my face. Abruptly, I sat up. I had to do something to get out of here. If I allowed that feeling to take over.... I jumped to my feet with a burst of energy I didn’t know I had and snatched up my synthesized daggers. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kuja watching me as I, like a mad man, begin to chop insanely at the roots in front and above my head.

"Um... Zidane?" He asked with a soft tone.

"Yes?!" I hissed back at him. "What is it?!"

He looked confused and oddly hurt at my outburst. Dammit, why couldn’t he at least have the decency to remain unconscious?! Maybe, it would be easier that way... Easier to resist.

".... I’m sorry, Zidane." He almost whimpered. " You shouldn’t be here right now. I..." He suddenly stopped and ceased to speak, which I thanked God and everyone else for, but he continued to watch me with those sapphire eyes.

I begin to wonder just how quickly he would play dead if he knew how badly I was suppressing the urge to fuck his brains out.

Then, the images flooded my mind. Erotic images of him butt-fucking-naked, all bruised and broken, struggling helplessly under my strength. I wanted, no, I needed to hurt him like that. No one would ever have to know....

My breathing became heavy to the point it was audible. Just concentrate on getting out, I told myself continuously, just think about being free.

What’s wrong with me?!

I begin to chop more furiously, as Kuja parted his ruby lips and again spoke my name.

He should have kept his mouth shut.

Before I knew what the hell I was doing, I had thrown down my daggers, and I had jumped onto his sweat-coated stomach. I couldn’t fight the urge anymore. I was tired of having to be the one always in control, the one always having to save the day. I didn’t want to listen to my conscience anymore. I just wanted to obey the animal instincts that were gnawing away at my insides.

He stared back at me with those large ocean blue eyes from behind those long black lashes. I saw a rare emotion in his eyes at that moment.

It was confusion.

Rather madly, I begin to strip him of his dirty armor. Piece by piece, I ripped if from his pale, vulnerable form. Having removed his heavy armor, I quite literally tore his white, bell-sleeved shirt from his heaving torso. I gazed at his bare upper body and noticed he had a ring pierced through his right nipple. For some odd reason, this amused me, and I chuckled under my breath. Lord, how mad I must have seemed to him... or maybe he just was seeing first hand how deep our blood lines really were. Maybe insanity ran in the ‘family’...

I couldn’t keep the smirk off of my face as I removed my gloves and pinched the pink flesh, through which the little gold hoop was inserted. I played with it for a moment, and then I moved down to do away with his thigh high boots, so he couldn’t kick the shit out of me if he snapped back from his shock and somehow found the energy to fight back. I threw both of them aside with force, and I think they went over the edge of the rock. Next, I continued on to strip him of the clothing that concealed his most intimate areas, his thong and what ever in the hell he had attached to it that held in his tail and covered his ass. I unsheathed the dagger attached to my belt and turned him on his side. With a quick slash, I cut the two straps that traced his wide hips, then turned him on his other side and did the same. I placed him in his original position, on his back, and replaced my weapon at my hip. With a grunt, I hoisted his legs onto my shoulders and jerked the clothing out from under him.

He fell out. To say I was envious of how huge he was, would be an understatement. How he held all that inside that tiny purple thong, I will never know. I just gawked at him for a moment, allowing my mind to run away with its crude images, and my groin to pound with lust.

I released his lengthy legs from my shoulders and allowed them to fall back to the rock beneath us, so that I was kneeling between his legs. My eyes refused to cease to ogle at him. He watched me inspect him through a few strands of his silver, feathery locks that had fallen into his face.

He never said a word.

I couldn’t stand it any longer; he had already made me hard. I unzipped my pants and pulled out my throbbing manhood. If he hadn’t known exactly how far I would take this, he knew now. He seemed to stare at my erection with sadness in his eyes. He knew I was going to do it. Maybe, he had thought at the beginning I would lose my nerve and return to my senses, but he knew now.

Yes, I was going to rape him.

Remaining between his legs, I pushed myself up onto him and pressed my lips to his with greedy lust. He didn’t fight me, but he didn’t kiss back either. I bit at his lip, and when I tried to thrust my tongue into his mouth, he opened up wide for me, so I could do it. Why did he allow me such easy access? I simply don’t know.

I ran my hands through his soft hair, as I rubbed my exposed erection against his growing one. I was mewling, but refused to care. As I rubbed, I ran my hands up and down his sides, and moved my mouth down his body, so I could suck on his nipples. By this time, he was making a soft purring sound, despite the sad look in his eyes. I guess his bodily needs had taken over his thinking, as it had mine.

I passed my hand down and over his left hip and into his groin area that contained a patch of silver hair. I ran my hand through it and underneath his cock to cup his swelling balls. I begin to roll them and found delight at seeing my lovely brother arch his head back, failing at his feeble attempts not to moan with pleasure.

He opened his eyes, panting hard, and placed his hands on my shoulders. He still had that same hurt expression, but some other emotion was also beginning to make itself visible, and I think it could be called desire.

I shifted myself up his tall frame and reached his mouth once more. He parted his lips once again and allowed my tongue’s entrance, but this time he tongued me back. We played with each other’s tongue, delighting in the taste and hotness of the other’s mouth. I pulled away and moved my mouth down to his hardness. I took a breath and engulfed him. I took as much of him into my mouth as I could without choking myself, then slid my tongue underneath his shaft all the way back to his tip. I circled my wet muscle there, licking up some of his smegma. He arched his back with amazing flexibility. I doubt I could get my back to arch like that even if I wasn’t hurt as bad as he was.

His tail suddenly lashed out and coiled around my own. Feeling another jolt of pleasure with that action, we both wrapped our own tail around the other’s as many times as it was physically possible. I stopped my sucking and feel back on my butt to remove my boots, tug off my baggy, blue pants, and strip off my underwear, which forced us to unwind our hairy limbs. When that was accomplished, I climbed over the top of him and crawled my way up to his face. I positioned myself over his mouth so he could give me a blow job as well, which he did with skill.

Feeling I was about to come into his mouth, however, I pulled myself free from that wet warmth, and moved my lower body down between his legs. This is what I really wanted. He only hesitated a moment, but then broaden the space between his inner thighs, giving me access to him. I positioned myself against his tight opening and forced myself into him in a couple of cruel thrusts. He yelped in pain, but masked any further sounds of his distress. I briefly wondered if I was going to kill him. I was getting ready to let go and pound into him when he looked me in the eyes and spoke for the first time since I had jumped him.

"Please, Zidane.... Not so hard, okay?"

I found myself wavering on my original thoughts of being as brutal as I possibly could be. Did I really want to hurt him so badly? I mean, I had already humiliated him, I was sure of it. I shook my head, feeling ashamed of myself. This was so not me. It was as if just the way he spoke had put me into my mad assault, but it had also taken me out of it.

Why had he given in so easily? Maybe, it was because he was too weak to fight back or maybe he had secretly wanted me like that too... Or maybe, he just thought he deserved it.

I just sat there inside of him, mildly thrusting, until I let myself ejaculate. He came at the same time I did. His cum sprayed on his stomach and on my shirt I hadn’t taken the time to remove. Slowly and gently I pulled myself out of him. I had actually ripped his skin a little, and he was bleeding. I cussed myself, as I retrieved what remained of his clothing. His boots had indeed gone off the edge, his shirt was torn in half, and I had ruined his thong when I slashed it. I asked him if he wanted his armor, but he declined with a tired shake of his head. With my tail limp between my legs, I picked up my discarded clothing and sat beside him. Deciding he needed some clothing, I lifted up his legs and slid my underwear on him. I thought he might protest, but he stayed silent. I glanced at him as I pulled up my pants and shoved my feet into my boots.

He had closed his eyes.

"Oh, God!" I heard myself scream, as tears streamed my cheeks. I prayed I hadn’t killed him in my moment of madness, revenge, and secret desire. I rushed over to him and looked into his angel-like face. His cheeks were also wet with fresh tears. I screamed his name.

His thick eyelashes fluttered for a moment, and then his lids parted just enough so I could see the dieing light in the deep blue ocean of his eyes. He smiled at me, much to my surprise. He looked so beautiful.

"It’s okay, Zidane..." He said, accepting my apology before I even had time to say it. "We all lose ourselves.... sometimes, don’t you think?"

"Yes, I guess we do.... I guess we do." I answered, realizing at that moment that in a strange way I had forgiven him for all he had done, and in return he had forgiven me for what had become, and what would remain, my ultimate sin.

Slowly, his lids slid down over those luscious blue eyes I so secretly loved, as his head lazily tilted to the side. Shaking, I placed one of my hands under his head and laid my ear to his chest and listened.

His heart had ceased to beat.