Setomono no Ningyo

Touch my wounds, cherish every scratch and bruise you inflict on me whenever you get mad... when you're jealous of something I do or someone I talk to... I sometimes wonder if you feel more than fatherly feelings for me... if you could love me...

But I could never ask you, I fear you almost as much a I love you. So instead I cherish you from afar, realizing every wish you have, saying whatever you want to hear, whenever you want to, however often you want to...I'd do anything for you. Even kill, as I have, without regrets, and I would do it again.

If only you would see what I feel, see what I do for you, return at least a little attention, affection even? You hold me sometimes, close to your heart as if you had feelings... but how could you? You are Rosiel, Rosiel- sama, my lord and master, my love.

When you have been mad, beating on me, you leave the room hurriedly, hands clasped to your face, hiding your expression. It's then that I want to soothe you most, run after you, hold you, caress your long hair, those waves of lavender that flow like water along your beautiful frame, your wings hanging defeated, as you leave, as you have left only minutes ago, leaving me on the floor, a new bruise forming on my cheek.

I hear the door creak open, bare feet padding the floor silently, hesitantly but I'm too tired, exhausted to look up. Your voice is so strange, quiet, small and gentle, no command in it as you speak, address me in that hushed, frightful tone: "Do you hate me, Katan?"

I turn my head in shock, staring at your slumped shoulders, your hanging wings, those beautiful wings which you usually carry around so proudly.

My expression softens as I get over the shock, the shock of seeing you like that, so not like you and I get up, going to stand before you with a gentle, soft smile. "Rosiel-sama, I could never hate you, how could I?"

"Do you think I'm beautiful? My Katan?"

I smile an honest smile now, knowing the procedure as I pull you into my arms, soothing you as you let me only on these few, rare occasions when you ask that question and thread my fingers through your hair gently, reveling in the feeling of it. Your hair is soft, like silk to my touch and I answer as I always do, whispering into the mass of hair beneath my lips. "Yes, you are, Rosiel-sama. You are the most beautiful, most precious person I know. You are more beautiful than the sun, more beautiful than your sister could ever be..."

You press closer against me, looking up, looking like a child who needs protection but I know that is wrong, that you don't need protection from anyone, anyone but me.

But instead of smiling, of asking me again, making me repeat myself you simply stare, into my eyes deeply and you lean up, going onto your toe tips, pressing your lips to mine. I stare wide eyed down at you and you stare back, sincerely even as you release me again. In that almost childish voice you ask: "Katan, my Katan... do you love me?"

Your voice turns velvety at the end of your questions and I am spellbound by your beauty. I can only nod, and that I do, heat rising to my cheeks as I turn my eyes to the floor. Your cold hand cups my cheek and forces me to look at you.

I love your eyes as you stare so lovingly up at me... almost innocently you ask for confirmation: "Honto ni?"

I nod, leaning against your cool, soft hand, warmth flooding me as you pull me into another sweet kiss, this time coaxing my mouth open with your tongue and I comply, giving you access to my cavern which I have only because of you, only for you and no one else. Our tongues meet in the most intoxicating way, leaving me breathless as you let go, reluctantly moving away from me, still staring, ever so lovingly, into my eyes.

"You are mine, my creation, mine to keep and hold, mine to cherish and only mine. I won't allow anyone to touch you or even look at you, I want to lock you away because you are my treasure, nothing is more important to me than you, my creation, my child and servant and know that I never meant to treat you bad, never meant to hurt you but I can't control myself, never in your presence. You are so utterly beautiful, Katan, my Katan, I am jealous of you because to me you are more beautiful than even myself and I can't allow anyone to be better than me but also I could never live without your presence. You're the anchor to my mind, the shore to my stormy emotions, you are what holds me together in a time like this. I... I..."

You trail off, your features contorted in pain, mental pain and although you don't say it I know what you mean. I pull you against my chest gently, burying your shame filled face in my shirt and I understand... I always understand you, no matter what it is, I always knew you didn't hurt me on purpose, never would you raise your hand in anger at me but still I don't know why you think I am beautiful. My looks could never compare to yours, never could I stand in the light of your beauty without falling to my knees and beg for you to let me stay with you, to adore your porcelain perfection, almost female shaped face, pale and smooth, no matter what they think of androgen features, how no one could define them as male of female, I don't care as long as you stay Rosiel-sama, my Rosiel-sama, with me forever.

I feel you tug at my coat, pulling me over to the door, never leaving my embrace, but you insist that I move with you, as if we were one, and to lead me to your room which I haven't seen often unless I had to wake you in the mornings and then I never had the chance or time to take a good look around. Because I only had eyes for you, my beloved master, when you are there I don't care how beautiful the surroundings are, I have only eyes for you.

But now you force me to look and I see the bed, bedspread and pillows the same color as your hair, the cover a little darker, the comforter the color of your eyes. It is a king sized bed, worthy of your body, the curtains drawn back around it, tied to the marble bedposts, champagne colored as well as the ceiling of the bed. The rest of the room is held simple, yet in colors that hug your beauty even more. You seem to glow before the large window, white clouds around a setting sun, golden, accentuating your pale skin, pink lips and violet eyes. The window is framed by mahogany, the dark brown, rich color an eye catch and a desk of the same exquisite wood.

I'm happy you chose a house, mansion on earth from where I can see the world, the green and brown, the red and yellow, all those colors one can't find where we come from. But it seems you have fallen in love with this planet as much as I have.

Before I can think of any thoughts further away from you, you begin to shed me of my coat with long, slender fingers, pushing them over my shoulders to pool around our feet and you kiss me, slowly, one by one unbuttoning my shirt, caressing my skin where you can touch it as you expose it to the cool, dry air of the room. I shiver as the shirt joins the coat on the floor and you start to kiss my shoulders, trailing down my chest slowly until you reach my navel, dipping your tongue in, all the while drawing random patterns on my back with your soft and gentle hands, palms and fingertips, alternating in almost whispers and kneading grips.

And then you do the unexpected, the unthinkable. You go down on your knees and I stare, hesitantly pulling back my hand from your hair and you feel my muscles contract, looking up with an unreadable expression in your eyes. Without a word you break the contact of our eyes, concentrating on my trousers, unbuttoning them, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. Only now do I realize the reaction my body has to your closeness. Don't get me wrong, I have dreamt about this for so long, yet I never gave into it, laying in bed, wide awake, trying to ignore my arousal, painfully throbbing, as it does now.

But now I can feel your touch as you pull the trousers down to pool around my ankles, your hot breath brushing past my sensitive skin. I can't seem to form a coherent thought as you brush cool fingertips just barely over the tip, cocking your head almost innocently.

"You... are beautiful. Truly beautiful, and you're mine, Katan. Only mine." Your voice is a dark growl and I look down at you, my hand still in your hair and you smirk at me and open your mouth, leaning in to lick at the sensitive underside of my cock, along it from base to tip before engulfing the head in your hot, dark crevice and I throw my head back and yell startled, the sensations overwhelming me. And you still have your eyes locked on my face, your head bobbing up and down my rigid length, sucking on me, gently nibbling, stabs of erotic pain running up my spine like electricity.

Your hands are attached to my hips, keeping me from thrusting deeper into your wonderful mouth. As an especially mind numbing sensation makes me jerk strong enough to brake your hold on me you leave my straining erection, chuckling slightly. "Katan... only because I am willing to do this for you, doesn't mean I am experienced. Be gentle, ne... my Katan?"

With that you get up, slowly disrobing yourself, letting me see your perfection, flawless skin, alabaster before my very eyes. Then you reach out to grab my upper arm, your fingers cool to my skin, and you pull me over to that giant bed, making me stand in front of you as you lean back, down on the bed on your back, displaying your gorgeous body, on your elbows, beckoning me with a long, graceful finger and I comply. I can't disobey you so I reach my arms out, going to my knees on the comforter, crawling up your small yet lean body, tangling a hand in your hair, like a halo framing your figure, hugging your body's beautiful form.

You pull me down for a long, passionate kiss, your hand in the nape of my neck where you massage my tense muscles, forcing me to relax. Your tongue battles with mine and you pull it from my mouth into yours, sucking gently.

You pull me down, flush against your cool body. It is such a contrast between your constant temperature and my heated body. Our arousals brush against each other, the friction making me go wild. I attack your lips, along your cheekbone, down to your neck where I start to suck on your pale flesh. Your hands rub my back fiercely, pulling me closer to you, trying to melt into me as I want to melt into you. You arch into me sensuously, panting heatedly.

You clasp a hand in my hair, pulling me from my place at your throat, looking deep into my eyes. I feel you hesitate, a light shiver going through you as you kiss me and whisper against my lips: "I want to make you happy, Katan... please, take me, love me... please, Katan..."

I stare at you, unmoving, trying to get reassurance in your eyes. I find love there, real feelings but also doubts, a light fear clouding your mind. I caress your cheek, your silken hair, lovingly gazing into your violet pools. "Are you sure, Rosiel...? I don't want you to be gone by morning..."

"I won't, my love..." I sigh against your neck, relaxing into your slender arms and you hold me, gently, as I have always dreamed you would but I was sure it would never happen. Emotions rage through me, conflicting, choking me, and soon I find myself buried in the crook of your neck, crying silent tears, hot trails on my cheek, wet on your flawless skin.

You sigh, your chest heaving heavily up against me and I wonder, pulling back, tears gone from my eyes but still damp trails on my hot cheeks, watching your face for any sign of emotions. Your eyes are wet, but not spilling and you ask me silently with pleading features, and I want to love you, physically as I have mentally for years, centuries even.

Your voice is hushed, frightened as you ask me, still hesitating: "Don't you want me, Katan? Am I that ugly?"

"No, you're not ugly, not at all, Rosiel...and yes, I want you, god yes, how I love to feel your skin pressed against mine, your beauty beneath me, writhing and squirming, so wantonly you are spread before me, a display of perfection. I can't believe that you let me near you at all, I'm so happy, it's unbelievable. I have craved your touch, your love but I never gave into the illusion of being able to do this..."

You have averted your gaze but now you do watch me, closely, intently, trying to find the truth behind my words and I open up, showing all the love and affection I hold for you, displaying them for you to see.

You pull me down, pressing our lips together, reaching down one hand, gripping my hardness in your softness, the other tracing the trails of dried tears as you stroke me, make me groan and buck my hips and you lead me, deliberately, slowly to your tight opening, spreading your legs further for me to fit between, begging me with your actions and your desperate need, I feel it in your every motion, every tense muscle, every panted breath and I move, as you guide me and I only hesitate to warn you, my voice choking on my heated state of mind.

"It might hurt, Rosiel-sama... you need to relax, please... I don't want to hurt you..."

You shake your head, that look of fatherly affection on your face. I sigh and try to wipe that look of your face with my lips, kissing every patch of skin, your cheeks, temple, eyelids and you close your eyes as I use that moment of complete slackness and bliss on your part and swiftly enter you, my head going past your tight ring of muscles and you arch your back, screaming from the pain, your fingernails digging into my skin, drawing blood. You breathe heavily, not moving a muscle but you're tense and I know I am hurting you but I can't stop, not now, where I know that leaving you would hurt you even more so I go on, moving in, holding you tight to my chest, moving albeit your whimpers and moans of pain, moving until I am buried deep within, to the hilt in your dark heat.

Once there I cease all motion, waiting patiently for you to adjust, I feel sorry now, that I haven't prepared you, haven't stretched and slicked you before doing this but you were so insistent and you know I could never deny you a wish, never disobey, never leave when you look at me like that, the utter trust in your eyes rendering me speechless.

And as you relax and I let you down to lay back on the bed you look at me in exactly that way, trusting and loving, your face glowing, glistening with damp trails of liquid heat, evidence of my violation of your virgin body. I begin to shake but you smile, beam up at me, nod your approval. And I can't hold myself in anymore, I have to move, you are so tight, I feel a slickness that hasn't been there before and I realize what I've done. But I have to move, I have to, and you don't seem to mind, no, you move against me, meeting each powerful thrust of mine with equal force and passion. I angle my thrusts to hit your sweet spot, that little nub inside you and I know I have hit it when you moan loudly, your movements becoming even more frantically, passionately and I hit that same spot again and again until I feel myself almost reaching the peak of completion and I grab your straining erection, dripping with pre-cum and stroke you roughly, my thrusts now coming harder and faster every time your velvet heat envelops me.

I feel you pulse under my fingers, hot-white liquid coating my hand and chest as well as your stomach. Your inner muscles clench around me, even more tightly now and I am pushed over the edge, spilling my seed inside of your bowels.

I slump on top of you, slowly, gently pulling out of you, a mixture of cum and blood mingling on the sheets. I'll need to clean them by morning, but now I stare down at you, not thinking about any duties or life in general as I drown in your beauty, the beauty of past orgasmic bliss, the way your skin glows in the aftermath, your eyes sparkling happily, hidden behind half closed, tired lids and I reach for your cheek, your hair, holding your head with one hand and kissing you, gently, thoroughly, lovingly.

"Rosiel..." I am still breathing hard, my heart hammering in my chest as I feel yours hammering against your ribcage, beneath my sensitized skin.

A finger hushes me, a finger as soft and flawless as a woman's, no calluses or scars, again proof for your porcelain-like perfection and high status, unreachable for me. But you have shown me tonight that I am able to reach out with words, hands and emotions and that you would hear me, listen to me, let me love you the way I always wanted to do.

I reach up with my other hand, finding it coated with your essence and start to lick it clean, finally tasting your unique sweetness. Your hand wraps around mine and you pull it down to your own mouth, gently sucking each finger clean. All the while you stare at me and I have to suppress a groan of lust because I feel your exhausted body slowly slumping into sleepiness as well as my own body's demand to get some rest.

I shift so that I lay on the bed, my back pressed to the soft covers and I pull you over to lay against my chest. You wince as you move to comply to my wish and I feel guilt wash over me for hurting you, for not being careful, not being patient enough. I brush my hand over your behind, caressing the abused flesh apologetically as I kiss the tip of your nose.

"I'm sorry, Rosiel... I didn't mean to hurt you... I'm really, really sorry..." My voice is soft and steady but I feel shaky and small inside. You seem to notice and wrap yourself closer around me, your arms around my stomach, one leg thrown over mine and you sigh content.

"Dear, dear Katan... there is no need to apologize. I wanted this, and I knew about the possible consequences. Innocence is not the same as stupidity. And I won't break at first touch."

"But you look it, Rosiel, you are perfect, and that porcelain perfection is what makes you look so fragile... so protectable." I give my heart to you on a silver tray and you accept, I notice that as you yawn and press your face into the crook of my neck, purring quietly.

"We should rest, my Katan. For my part, I am spent."

I chuckle at your choice of words. "Yes, literally..."

I hear a soft chuckle against my chest as the only answer as you already drift off to sleep while I still wonder why all this has happened and how I deserve to be with the most wonderful angel that has ever walked the earth... or heaven even, Rosiel, my Rosiel-sama. Mine and only mine to protect and cherish and hold forever and ever, to never be parted with him because if he was to be gone, I know that, than that would be my end. He has given me a body, a mind to think but the most precious gift of his is his love as he lays in my arms, lips parted lightly, long even breaths brushing past them, his cool skin a gentle contrast to the summer night's warmth that seeps in from the slightly open window in a silent breeze, tangling the mass of spun silk, swirling and mesmerizing me with it.

"I love you, Rosiel-sama. Forever...."